As I Began To Love Myself

Hace poco hice una escapada a Denia con mi queridísima Isabelle. Hubo un poco de todo en tan corto período, en el que no faltaron nuestras largas charlas, de esas en que conoces tanto a la otra persona que parece que a veces sobran las palabras y una sola mirada lo dice todo. Y no sé cómo surgió en la conversación, la verdad, pero en algún momento, ella recordó un maravilloso poema que, afanosa, buscó en su móvil y pasó a leerme en español, entonando deliciosamente, con un leve toque de acento francés. El poema fue escrito por Charles Chaplin cuando cumplió setenta años, un 16 de abril de 1959. Os dejo la versión en inglés.

 

 

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “authenticity”.

 

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “respect”.

 

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “maturity”.

 

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “self-confidence”.

 

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “simplicity”.

 

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “love of oneself”.

 

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “modesty”.

 

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “fulfillment”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “wisdom of the heart”.

 

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations

or any kind of problems with ourselves or others.

Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know that is "Life"!

 

Melting

... Always :)



*** Mil gracias a Honey Bee por revisar el texto

Still Dreaming? (English version)

I published this entry in Spanish (you can read it here), but now, thanks to my friend Céline, who was kind enough to help me with the translation, you can also read it in English.

She stretches her body, slim but voluptuous with soft curves ... She looks like a sweet kitten, and she half-opens her feline eyes just to verify what her hands have already felt when she touches the other side of the bed and doesn’t find anybody: she’s alone. The sun is about to come up and, with sleepy eyes, she stares at the blue figures of the alarm clock. It says 6:33. She smiles and stretches to snuggle again and try to go back to sleep for an hour, or at least, lulled by the early riser chirping of sparrows that greet from the street, to let her mind wander in that particular half-sleep in which part of the mind remains stuck in the dream world. She dreamed of... what was it?... She searches carefully into her memory the images that filled her brain just a few minutes ago. It's night… the fire lights up the beach... The memory is blurry, and her mind struggles to grasp the fleeting scenes that come to pieces, her body seems to remember, and she feels aroused... It's a dance... no!... it’s a wild dance... drums...? Various thoughts come to her mind, but she can’t find out the origin of that feeling. Her body moves at a wild rate...

She enjoys feeling over her almost naked skin a gentle breeze, that moves the curtains and the pages of the book on her bedside table. She tries to fix the breeze to her body, to make it stay with her during the day when the overwhelming heat will stop her from breathing and sprinkle her skin with sweat. Her hands touch other bodies, and various hands touch hers... Her left hand rests on the sharp curve of her waist, and playful, explores the surrounding area. She quenches the thirst with other mouths... Swaying, with still no memory, but encouraged and spurred on by signals emanating from her body, she twirls in the bed and starts to touch herself. Her body falls under the ecstasy and pleasure that other bodies give her… She slides her shorts and enjoys her nudity kissed by the breeze. Her left hand plays with her nipples, hard as stone, while her right hand covers the short distance that separates it from her sex, expectant and hungry for her soft touch...
 

Sweet About Me, ♫ Nothing Sweet About Me, ♪ Yeah! ♫

Sweet About Me, ♫ Nothing Sweet About Me, ♪ Yeah! ♫

 

Damn! Although it is better to wake up with the soft voice of Gabriella Cilmi instead of the nasty alarm beep, Charlotte goes mad and turns it off immediately, extending her arm unwillingly. She feels the temptation to continue with her sweet awakening. She lays still and thinks about it, reluctant to get out of bed... "Well," she tells herself, "next time, maybe!", and, leaving her hot wishes behind, she goes to the shower.

It's a catchy tune and she hums it while the water runs from her head to her toes and down the drain, taking with it all the heat that was dominating her just a few moments ago.

♪ If There's Lessons To Be Learned, I'd Rather ♫ Get My Jamming Words In First Oh ♪
♫ Tell Ya Something That I've F...

She suddenly stops, the water still flowing... "Oooooohhh, noooo!", she cries out loud and then starts laughing. The water falls in her mouth and gushes out while she laughs and laughs ... "Hahaha!... I can't believe it! Hahaha!... Today is Saturday! "...

A Light Scar (English version)

Mi amigo Keith me decía el otro día que a veces le gustaría poder saber qué escribo en mi blog, algo dífícil para él, pues es inglés y no habla nada de español. Republico por ello una antigua entrada, A Light Scar, pero esta vez en inglés. Para ello, usé Google Translate para una primera traducción e hice mis propias correcciones sobre el resultado, pero el texto final ha sido posible gracias a otra amiga, esta vez la linda Amber, que tuvo la paciencia de revisar y corregir el texto que le envié, y que ella, siendo bilingüe, podía ajustar con mucho más acierto que un traductor automático o yo.

She felt how her stomach was filled up with colourful butterflies and dancing dragonflies. She danced in the streets still wet from the sprinklers, stepping in all puddles on the way, jumping happily in each of them and splashing around. She reached the grand avenue, where the night gave way to a sunny morning, and soon became a swarm of happy rowdy children playing tag just for the mere pleasure of running and shouting with the nerves and emotion you feel when someone tries to chase you, filling the air with laughter. And several couples, oblivious to the scene, looked at each other, and whispered words of love seated on the benches of the promenade. Mad as she was, excited, she didn’t see a slight red stain sticking out on her shirt, and that was getting larger at every step she took and went down shaking from her heart, drawing on her left flank a line that reached her belly and stopped. It was probably a wound, not fatal, but deep enough to fill the air of sad grey butterflies and dim dragonflies that fled from her inside, and covered the sun and brought night to the morning...

She stopped dead, adjusted her breathing and inhaled deeply filling her lungs with fresh and new air. She looked at the sky, black and starless, and felt no fear or sadness, and that way, staring into the darkness, she ran her hands along her shirt, muttered a few words with conviction and went back to her walk resolutely, while in time to her calm walk, the wound was healing, leaving a faint mark, and the light returned slowly to the street…